Ransom Note Valentine's Card

Have you got your Valentine’s Day affairs in order?  To my beloved this year I am giving a tatty old John Grisham thriller, a supermarket newsletter and a page from the Guardian Review of Books.

Well, to be more precise, I am giving him a hand-crafted card declaring my love, snipped from the pages of the above book and periodicals, with carefully scissored words and letters glued into place to form a very unique kind of affirmation that Hallmark couldn’t quite offer.

To make something like this, you can simply riffle through the Sunday papers and snip out useful words, or raid a novel you have no intention of ever trying to re-read (how annoying would that be?  To reach page 96 and find a crucial paragraph has been cut out).  I snipped out some pronouns and joining words so that I had a little pile of ‘I’s and ‘you’s and ‘and’s and ‘then’s … and then found some altogether more interesting and random phrases and snippets to spice it up a bit.  Then I laid them all out and got to work;

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Ransom note Valentines Card

Have fun with the envelope too, and then quietly congratulate yourself on your artistry even as you survey the 249 tiny shreds of newspaper that now cover every surface and skitter gently across the floor carried by the infernal draughts that plague your ancient house.  Ignore, sip wine. Use leftover clippings to craft a series of ransom notes and post to your neighbours under cover of darkness.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

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